One Principle of Effective Management: Openness... Have you ever been in a meeting room where "undiscussable" topics are present? Often there is background tension as the discussion circles the most important issues. People leak their feelings and true beliefs through indirect comments rather than open expression. Later, after the meeting, people talk in the hallway about what should have been talked about in the meeting itself. It's not that people don't talk about their undiscussables, it's that people do not talk about them openly and directly with those who can actually resolve the problem. This can be a frustrating and unproductive experience resulting in low morale and poor outcomes for any organization. Over
the past seventeen years as a management consultant, I have encountered
many teams and organizations that suffer from blocked communications.
The "dead moose on the table" syndrome is pretty common,
even in organizations that are otherwise successful. Consider:
As a leader, learning to create a more open atmosphere is a great way to release untapped human and organizational potentials. Today, because times are tough for many companies, that's more important than ever. Often the biggest barriers to the strategic changes leaders need to make within their organizations, such as changes to company direction and markets or to organizational design, become hung up on undiscussables about interpersonal relationships that have become entangled with how the work is to be done. These tough "knots" block progress at many levels. For example, at a recent training session at a company making major shifts in direction and internal culture, I watched as two managers tried to sort out problems between the respective functions, manufacturing and distribution. On the one hand the issue was about a work system problem, with the discussion centering on an incident where manufacturing was left hanging without the right amount of materials from distribution. But on the other hand, this was very much a problem of personal feelings and human relationships. It was clear that each side had a view of the other that was colored by negative assumptions and beliefs: the distribution manager felt he'd taken reasonable action to address the complaint, while the manufacturing manager felt the distribution manager wasn't all that concerned about the problem and hadn't "made the needed impression" on his own team. The conversation came to a standstill when the bit of real interpersonal frustration began to leak into the exchange. To
clear out problems of this kind, it's important to adopt a rigorous
principle of openness and truth-telling within a setting that is as
safe as possible emotionally. If you are a leader watching this kind
of conflict happen and facilitating resolution, here are a few time-tested
ideas about how to proceed. 1.
Encourage the participants, with your help, to set ironclad ground
rules for communication. These ground rules need to include deep
honesty, a willingness to reflect on personal contributions to the problem,
and a commitment to resolution despite the personal vulnerabilities
and defensiveness that may be involved.
2. Acknowledge that the situation is emotional and that dealing with difficult emotions is an essential part of the dialogue. This means creating an expectation that everyone will make a heart-felt attempt to express their personal feelings associated with the situation, not just engage in intellectual problem-solving that hides the true experiences people have of the conflict. 3. Encourage people to slow down and tell their full story before others respond. This includes incidents, experiences, feelings, beliefs-some of which are likely to be offensive or difficult to explain. The bag needs to be emptied completely before new and different feelings can begin to fill it up. Then ask people to summarize each other's experiences and perspectives. This will show where the major points of miscommunication are. 4. Help people see the connections between their observations of others' behavior and their erroneous conclusions about other people. For example, the manufacturing manager concluded that the distribution leader didn't care about the problem because there was no public punishment of someone in his team. These value and personality-driven conclusions are destructive to any relationship. They imply that unless a manager is or operates exactly "like me" he or she is incompetent, uncaring, or an adversary. Challenge these assumptions directly and encourage respectful acknowledgement that people may be very different and still be trustworthy. The sign of failure is unwillingness to "go into the jungle" of feelings and beliefs to work the problems. The personal engagement of people with one another on a continuing basis is a primary antidote for organizational pain and ineffectiveness. 5. Help people ask for feedback and address their blindspots. Not all conclusions about other people are incorrect. Sometimes the unpopular, unvarnished truth is that individuals must deal with their own negative, self-protective motivations. Both support people and hold them accountable for the soul searching necessary to accomplish personal change. 6. Affirm all efforts of the parties to work to resolution. Many leaders feel uncomfortable affirming small progress on conflicts. One vision of a good leader is the person who hands a cup of water along the way to a marathon runner. He or she can't run the race for others, but can help each runner do their very best. Replenish the spirit and soul of those trying hard to make things work in relationships, not just operations. Constantly promote solutions that positively resolve both the work system and the interpersonal issues. The undiscussable isn't finished until both aspects have been fully addressed. 7. Promote forgiveness. When conflicts arise, forgiveness is the deepest, most important change message. Appreciating how much we need each other in the long run and forgoing the demand to be right can lead to a powerful team development experience. There is an underlying spirit to the principle of openness that can never be encapsulated in a few simple techniques. Openness to untangling organizational knots depends on indefinable qualities of genuineness, vulnerability, and willingness to see oneself, qualities that define "authentic" behavior-behavior that really connects with others. Without authenticity among the parties, resolving undiscussables will be very difficult, indeed. Ultimately, the most important way to teach these qualities is through your own personal behavior, not words or techniques. Personally modeling your courage to be open as a person and leader is the best of all ways to coach others' toward this key principle of effective management.
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